My First Fan Fiction (and Probably My ONLY FanFic)

woman sitting by tree writing in a journal_myfirstfanfiction_rockinrandommom

Welcome all to my first fan fiction story. I’ve never really put much stock in fan fiction because to me, it isn’t original. Writers of fan fiction are writing about characters already created with a story that’s already been written.

However, Several years ago when my favorite video game trilogy of all time – Mass Effect – ended with more questions than answers, I found myself lost.

I started grieving over my fictional character that Bioware allowed me to create, only to see the end of her story come to an distressing end. This left me with a strong desire to finish the story on my own. Fan Fiction was still unfamiliar to me though.

Then there was someone who did write the end to his character’s story and he published it online. It got rave reviews too. I started looking at what other Mass Effect fans were writing. It was incredible! The fan fiction I read tugged at my heart strings. These fans were feeling the same way I was feeling and their stories were amazing!

 I started my own story about my FemShep and her ending. So began my first step into the fan fiction world. I thought this would be something different to share with you all. Many of you aren’t knowledgeable about this world but I do hope you enjoy the read!

FemShep standing in front of planets_myfirstfanfiction_rockinrandommom
This is a wallpaper I have on my laptop.

Backstory to Mass Effect_Myfirstfanfiction_rockinrandommom

The reapers have been destroyed. The geth and Edi went offline. The mass relays and the Citadel were severely damaged. The Normandy crash landed on an unknown jungle planet somewhere within an unknown system. On board with Joker is the rest of the crew including Garrus, who didn’t want to leave Earth or leave his beloved Paige. Having been wounded during the battle on Earth, Paige Shepard called the Normandy and, handing Garrus off to Liara, insisted they leave. He still remembers her last words to him as she said goodbye. Dr. Chakwas patched him up nicely but now he is stranded on another planet away from the woman he loves, not knowing if she survived or not.

            So, in order to keep himself busy he is helping the rest of the crew clean up and fix the Normandy. Tali and Samantha Traynor work together to get EDI back online while Liara helps Joker in the cockpit. When Garrus is alone, however, he often finds himself in Shepard’s cabin where he spent every spare minute he could with her. This evening he wanders down there again, just walking through the cabin, looking at the broken fish tank and packing up the model ships she collected at various shops in the galaxy. He works his way over to feed her space hamster who was remarkably unscathed during the crash.

            Tali walks into the cabin with a tray of food. He hasn’t eaten much since they left Earth and Tali is the only one on the ship who eats the same food as him. A memory of Paige flashes through his brain at that moment. She surprised him with a meal because he had been working really hard and had just made a difficult decision with the Primarch.

         GarrusmemoryofShepard_myfirstfanfiction_rockinrandommom

            Tali snaps him back to the present holding out a plate for him. “Garrus, your dinner.” With a low growl, not intended for Tali but just in frustration at being dragged out of his memory, he takes the plate and sets it down next to Shepard’s private terminal. “I’m not hungry Tali but thank you.” Tali is quiet for a minute as Garrus heads over to the model ships and continues packing them. Tali follows, picking up his plate.

“Garrus you have to eat something. As soon as the Normandy is fixed Joker says we are heading back to Earth. Maybe once we get back there we will be able to find out once and for all what happened to Shepard. She could still be alive Garrus. She came back from the dead once already. If anyone can beat death, it’s our Paige.”

videogamemasseffect_garrusandtali_myfirstfanfiction_rockinrandommom
Mass Effect Wallpaper of Garrus and Tali

            Garrus looks up at Tali, flaring his mandibles. “I do have hope Tali! I will never give up on Paige until I see with my own eyes that she’s…”  He lowers his head, holding onto Shepard’s favorite model ship, the Normandy. He didn’t realize he was holding it so tight until some of the paint chipped off from his grip.

            Tali leaves the cabin with her head held down. It’s sad to see one of her best friends in so much pain. She lost Shepard too. Shepard, Garrus, and Liara have been best friends since they met on the citadel a little over three years ago. Those were the days. The mission to stop Saren was what brought them together. Even Wrex grew on her after a while. When you fight side by side with someone for so long you get close, especially in life and death situations, which is what always seemed to happen with this group.

Tali knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would die for them. They’ve been through hell and back too many times and Shepard even helped her get her home world back, uniting the Quarians and Geth for the first time. The Geth are no longer active but Tali is confident that she and her people can fix them and they can honor Shepard’s wish for unity among organics and synthetics. Her heart aches for Garrus to lose the one person in this galaxy he loves more than anything. It’s cruel that they found each other only to be ripped apart by the reapers. Tali decides to leave Garrus alone with his thoughts.

That’s it everyone! I have more that I may publish down the road. I hope you all enjoyed this little venture into the Mass Effect world.

I also made a music video to accompany my little story, which you can watch below or on my YouTube channel.

Thanks so much for reading!

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Songs of Summer: And What I’m listening To Now

Girl on the beach with headphones_songsofsummer_rockinrandommom

This past Summer I’ve listened to a lot of new songs. Songs of Summer is actually the name of one playlist. To say my iTunes library has gotten bigger might be an understatement. Anyone who reads my blog knows how much I love music. Music was and still is (sometimes) my lifeline. It is also my way of feeling the ever changing moods that I feel.

In the last post I talked about the different ways I fought off depression. I forgot to mention that music played a big part in that. I listened to some old Songs of Summer and found a few new ones that I love. These are all feel good songs that both energize me and leave me reminiscing about the Summers of old.

So what’s on my Songs of Summer Playlist?

Well, instead of listing them, I’ll just let you listen for yourself, Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a few new songs for your playlist:

 

 

 

 

That’s just to name a few of the songs I have on my playlist. I have at least 20 songs on that list including Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp, The Boys of Summer by Don Henley, and This Summer by Maroon 5. What are your favorite Songs of Summer?

So what am I listening to now?

While it’s been hard not to listen to my favorite Songs of Summer, I have found other music to keep me going and keep me excited about the coming months. That’s what music does. It gets me excited. It helps cheer me up. It also helps me feel deeply whatever I need to feel.

I do believe this is the first video where these guys aren’t wearing their masks. They’re known for their masks. I’ve been a fan of Hollywood Undead for years but I have to say with each new album they release they are definitely evolving. I love this song Gotta Let Go because of how we all look back on our younger days. Did we follow our dreams? Are we still chasing those dreams?

But the best verse is “God only knows where the hell would I be, if I had the old me sitting beside me”. I love that verse. I think about that sometimes. My past self. I am so different from who I used to be but I think I’ve only gotten better, smarter, and most of all, happier. We all change. We all evolve. That’s what this songs represents to me.

I love the upbeat tones of this song High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco but it’s also inspirational in the lyrics too. It’s about aiming high and not giving up. He says “Mama said don’t give up”. I say that to my boys. Don’t give up. Keep it moving and aim high! What a great song!

Starset is one of my favorite bands. I found them a couple years back and I love their epic music sounds. Ricochet is a sadder song and if you watch the video I think it’s kind of cool and sad at the same time. This song is one I plan to use in a future gaming video so keep a look out for this one.

I don’t think I can even have a playlist these days without at least ONE 80’s song :p I love this song because it’s empowering. Plus, it’s such a fun song to sing along to in the car, haha!

Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes (featuring Adam Levine). This is such an upbeat song but what I love the most about it is the metaphor of one’s love being a song, or a boombox. What an amazing way to express one’s love and it’s exactly what resonates with me and my way of looking at music and at love. I’m going to include some of the lyrics here because I just love them!

I think finally found a note to make you understand
If you can hit it, sing along and take me by the hand
Keep myself inside your head, like your favorite tune
And know my heart’s a stereo that only plays for you
My heart’s a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
I only pray you never leave me behind (Never leave me)
Because good music can be so hard to find (So hard to find)
I take your hand and pull it closer to mine
Thought love was dead, but now you’re changing my mind

 

That’s right ya’ll Godsmack is back! To anyone who listened to them back in the late 90’s, you will want to hear their new music. When Legends Rise is my favorite song off their new album. They don’t have an official video but I really wish they did. Oh well, here is the lyric video instead. I have to end this list on a rock hard, in your face, battle born type of song. It really gets in my head these lyrics alongside the amazing guitar riffs and drum beats.

Again, I have at least 20 songs on my new playlist. They range from Zayde Wolf to Adelitas Way. I also have Good Charlotte and Gemini Syndrome, which I found on Amazon Music.

Well, that’s it for me for this week’s post. From my Songs of Summer to Songs of September, I hope you enjoy the music I brought to you.

Thanks so much for reading!

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Saying Goodbye To Summer

Girlinfrontofbooks_goodbyetosummer_rockinrandommom

 

Hey there everyone, I’m back! I hope you all have had a great Summer. Mine was good but it could have been better. I don’t know about you but I really needed to take a break from the blog.

So let’s just get right into it. This Summer was surprisingly not as good as Summers past. Not that it was bad mind you but I’ll get to that soon. I want to talk about the not-so-great things so that I can end my post on a positive note.

So What Wasn’t So Great?

For starters, I ended up financially strapped this Summer. This prevented me from doing most of the things I wanted to do like take the boys to Six Flags. I was also hoping to finally take them to Salem and show them all the cool stuff there. I also wanted to take a trip to Baltimore and Virginia to see my family. I haven’t visited them in a few years.

What is up with the weather? It was either crazy hot and humid or it was raining and thunderstorms. So, even going to the beach was difficult. Being stuck in the house most of the summer for all of these reasons really put a damper on my Summer plans.

We did get out for the 4th of July thankfully. That was before the weather really started to suck. And both boys were on their devices while waiting so I got bored and…

 

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I got bored while waiting for the #fireworks

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But I Did Manage to Fight Off Depression

Normally when I’m stuck in the house too much I get depressed. Mostly because I tend to over think EVERYTHING and all the negative thoughts creep up on me. I also need Mother Nature’s help to ground me. The weather prevented that. While some of that did happen, I kept myself from getting seriously depressed.

So Here is Where the Good Comes In

I played video games with my friends. I also started streaming on Twitch which I found surprisingly fun. I started streaming because of a project I’m working on but I quickly got sucked into it. I even met a couple of new people.

I watched a good amount of movies with my boys and Adam and I started cooking together.

That’s right. I have started teaching Adam how to cook more meals and it’s been a great bonding experience for both of us. He really enjoys our time cooking in the kitchen and I have to say, it has made me excited about cooking myself.

My Birthday!

I had a good birthday this year. I turned 41 and instead of having a party or anything (like the unexpected outing from last year), I decided to spend this year with myself. I spent a few hours at the lake and I went for a hike. It was really nice and relaxing. Then I made myself dinner and a cheesecake and Binged Netflix. That was my kind of birthday!

I also got some amazing gifts from my friends. I really do have some awesome friends. Thank you Angie, Jesse, and Beth for these awesome gifts!

And Now I’m Back

While being away was essential for me to take a breath, I miss writing. I didn’t do ANY writing this Summer and I think that was a bad thing. I need to make more time for it because I know how much I love it. However, I am making a few changes this year. I was really hoping to change my blog name but that costs money and right now, well, ya know.

So for now, the name stays but I will not be participating in as many linkies as I was. I’m going to cut back on the Facebook groups too because it takes up way too much of my time and I NEED to write. I’m going to start publishing some more short stories and poetry which I’m really excited about.

I might not be around every week but when I am around I look forward to sharing what I write. I can’t wait to get back into the swing of things and to share with all of you awesome people out there!

Thanks so much for reading!

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Dear June, You Sure Did Keep Me Busy

Green trees_DearJune_rockinrandommom

Dear June,

You have kept me on my toes this month. Most of it was for good reasons. Such as the Boston field trip I took with Conner. And the Mutton and Mead Festival I went to with Adam. Let’s not forget the Field Day at Conner’s school and oh yeah, Adam got not one, but THREE awards this year!

But Dear June,

You also sent my way some woes this month. The short but very stressful financial crises comes to mind. Boy was that a horrible three weeks. Let’s not do that again, okay.  Oh yeah, and let’s not forget about my car dying. I swear I have the worst luck with cars.

Dear June,

You also dragged on for way too long as far as the kids having to be in school until June 21st. When most of my friends were telling me their kids ended in the beginning of June. It’s not entirely your fault though. That, I blame the school board, or whoever the hell is in charge of making up the school year. Still, you dragged on forever. To say the boys and I were so done with school this year is an understatement.

There were three different field trips for Conner. Then at the last minute I find out about a play his class  put on. I raced to see him in it only to miss him by two minutes. Grrrr!

Three different awards ceremonies for Adam all within one week. Which also happened to be the same week of two of Conner’s field trips. Did you really have to do that to me June?

Then there was my beautiful niece graduating from high school and I didn’t get to go because I didn’t have the funds to travel to Maryland to help her celebrate. But oh, doesn’t she look wonderful in her cap and gown?

my niece in her cap and gown_dearjune_rockinrandommom

However Dear June,

It was all worth it in the end. I got to go to Boston with Conner. While the kids were supposed to be learning the history of Boston, especially in regards to the Revolutionary War, we managed to have fun. And Shop! Yeah, I spent way too much money in Boston. Note to self: bring more money 😉

I love Boston. I’ve been there twice (now three times) and every time I love it more. So when the teacher said she needed chaperones for the trip, I jumped at the chance to show my son an amazing city – my favorite so far – and I got to spend some much needed quality time with him.

 

Dear June,

Going to awards ceremonies for Adam back to back was definitely worth it just to see my boy get awards he didn’t even know he was getting. He got a Stars to Special Education award – for being an awesome classmate and student – and he got two academic awards: One in Biology and One in English. Yep! I am one #proudmama

Dear June,

We also helped the boys’ dad celebrate Father’s Day this year but I wrote a post on that last week if you want to catch up. It was a good day and he loved his gifts!

We ended the school year with Adam and I going to the Renaissance Festival held every year at this time. It took some finagling with money but I was able to get us there and we had a great time! I loved spending time with just Adam. We don’t get that much anymore and having such a great day out with him is a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Me and My Son_Dear June_RockinRandomMom

Now I have one more week left of this month and while it isn’t going to be as busy as the weeks before, I still have some stressors coming up. Just get me through Tuesday and I won’t complain again, I promise! Can someone bring me some wine?

my bitmoji_winetime_dearjune_rockinrandommom

Not to worry though, my birthday month is just around the corner. Both my real birthday and my blog birthday! Bring on July!

Thanks so much for reading!

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FYI to all my readers: I will be taking a much needed break. The Summer is a very busy time for me, especially as how I prefer to be outside with the kids doing fun stuff like swimming. I will still post new stuff but not as often. I will still be active on Social Media though so catch me there 🙂

 

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Celebrating Father’s Day with my Ex-Husband

fatherandsonwalking_father'sDay_rockinrandommom

Yep! You read that right! I celebrated Father’s Day with my ex-husband. Well, the kids were there too. Not all divorced parents can get along. I am lucky that my ex and I do get along. More than that though, we have managed to become friends once again after our split. It took hard work and communication on both sides but we did it.

Father’s Day is also a day to appreciate the dad in your kids’ lives who is more than just a sperm donor. He takes his role seriously and he makes sure to be there for them, even when it’s hard. For example, lately Conner has been showing his tween side all too often. He is argumentative more than usual, moody, and back talking a bit too much.

His dad doesn’t run away when he gets like that. He also doesn’t go to the other extreme. He sticks it out, buckles down for the ride right along with me and I will say that as co-parents, we have each other’s backs during these small crisis’.

So I celebrate Father’s Day with my ex-husband to show him appreciation. I appreciate that he is there for our children. I appreciate that we get along. Most of all though, I appreciate that he loves our children just as much as I do and will do anything for them.

fatherandson_father's day_rockinrandommom

 

fatherandson_Father'sDay_rockinrandommom

Let’s Switch Gears for a minute…

I did not have a father growing up. When I did meet my father, I wished I hadn’t. He was abusive and manipulative and an all around bad person. When he wasn’t being those things, he spent most of my childhood and teenage years denying my brother and me. I spent a good chunk of my life hating my father because he never loved me and never wanted me.

Father’s Day was never celebrated in my house because of this. There was only one man I ever called dad and he was actually my sister’s father. He was the first father I knew but unfortunately he didn’t stay in the picture for very long.

However….

My boys do! At some point in my teenage years I made a promise to my future children that I would make damn sure they would have a good father. They would have a dad who loved them beyond measure and would always be there for them.

Of course, by the time I met the father of my future kids, partying was more on both of our minds than kids. Being in our early twenties kind of does that. Yet somehow, I was able to keep that promise to them. Was it a promise kept or was it just fate? I don’t know, to tell you the truth but what I do know is my boys have an awesome dad!

fatherteachingsontorideabike_Father'sDay_rockinrandommom

Yet…

Not every kid is lucky enough to have a loving and devoted father though and I want to take a minute to recognize that. Perhaps because of this, my ex and I made it a point to get along even when we didn’t for the sake of our kids. All too often I see parents who can’t even be in the same room together let alone get along but they too, at least make an effort for their kids.

Then there are dads out there who have to fight to see their kids because the moms are so hateful towards them that they use the kids against those dads. This is something I have seen a lot of and it really angers me. It angers me because at the end of the day, the only people really getting hurt are the kids.

Then there are kids whose fathers have passed away. Those dads are sorely missed. There are also children whose fathers choose not to be in their lives for whatever reason. My heart breaks for these kids because I know how that feels. But my heart also swells at the thought of my own children having a great dad.

Celebrating Father’s Day…

This year the boys wanted to do something really special for their dad but they didn’t know what. He has been wanting a model car Delorean from Back to the Future. He had it on his list for his birthday. Except that his birthday isn’t until September so I thought, why not get it for him for Father’s Day?

We also got him a Samurai Sword. Not a real one mind you. Those are way out of my price range. On Saturday Adam and I went to the Renaissance Festival and they were selling Samurai Swords. It was a decent price and very well made (with a dull blade) so I picked it up for him. Just in time for Father’s Day.

The kids couldn’t wait to give him the presents and he was really happy to get them. He loves both gifts. This was my way though of showing appreciation to the man who my kids call Dad! So thank you Tom, for being such a great father to our beautiful boys!

Happy Father’s Day!

Fatherandsons_SuperbowlSunday_Father'sDay_rockinrandomom

And Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads out there!

Thanks so much for reading!

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