For many years I have had recurring dreams about a person who used to be in my life. The dreams started shortly after high school, when I no longer saw this person. He used to be a friend but I use the word loosely as we weren’t really friends. More acquaintances and classmates than friends. Nevertheless, I had dreams about him.
It took me a long time to figure out why I had these dreams. These dreams come to me when I’m at my lowest mentally and emotionally. When I’m deeply struggling with something or when I feel like I’m losing control over something in my life.
Once I figured that out, I wanted to understand why him? It could be anyone. A lost loved one. My grandmother who passed away when I was thirteen. Any of my closest friends or relatives. But no, it is this one person who I barely know. He barely knows me. It’s ALWAYS him too. It’s never anyone else.
For a long time I thought it meant something more than it was. Maybe I knew him in a past life. I went so far in my mind to think maybe he was my… I can’t even say it now because it’s a ridiculous notion. Long story short, for whatever reason he represents a part of my subconscious that tells me everything is going to be okay.
I had one of these dreams the other night. As you know I’ve been struggling with several things and this past week was one of the shittiest weeks I’ve had in a long time. I woke up inspired and compelled to write this poem. It’s been several years since I’ve had one of these dreams.
I dreamt of you last night
I walked ’round and there you stood
Oh you were such a sight!
I knew it was THAT dream
You come to visit me in our woods
To comfort me in my time of need.
And though it was only a dream
It was so nice to see you old friend
In the land of dreams where we could just BE
The time we got to spend
Walking and laughing and finally at peace with each other
We chatted about anything BUT the weather.
Conversation wasn’t what was needed
As you already knew
But your presence was what I heeded
Because it was you who gave me solace
And your smile gave me the clue.
You’re here because I’m in anguish
The world is trying to break me
But you know that’s outlandish.
And as the dawn approached
it was time for me to wake
You look at me without reproach
In my dream you say without a word
That everything is going to be okay.
He and I are no longer friends. We haven’t been friends for several years now. It’s funny because while I have no desire to have him back in my life, it was nice to see him in my dream. He has become a muse of sorts and for that I am grateful.
Thank you all for reading!
P.S. For all Americans reading my blog – Don’t forget to vote this Tuesday! I know I will!
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